Changing Up the Work

change only happensIts time to change up the work. In early, early recovery, the work was prescribed by the chemical dependency department of my health care provider. Thank goodness they had a clear plan because my planning to drinking less tomorrow wasn’t flying. In AA, my sponsor helped me develop a plan of working with her weekly, attending 3 meetings, being of service, and calling other alcoholics. That plan established much needed personal stability and started me on the road to developing friendships with others in recovery and I stuck with it for a year (2 rounds of 6 month commitments).

Becoming restless, its time to change things up. Winging it certainly is appealing and sounds like an exciting adventure, but adventure doesn’t meet the needs of recovery and a plan is needed. So, for accountability, here’s the current plan:

  • blog weekly
  • read recovery literature on weekends, delving into Peter
  • AA meeting Tuesday nights (holding onto my home group)

IMG_3394What is your experience with changes in your recovery program? What types of changes have you tried?

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Holiday Parties in Sobriety

IMG_0059Year two of holiday parties in sobriety, and a perfect opportunity to put some knowledge into practice.  A few tips I learned from trial and error last year but many were learned right here from my fellow sober bloggers.  Each and every one of you are deeply appreciated.   Hurrah for collective wisdom!

December 2014 saw quite a few holiday celebrations right here at home including a staff party, book club dinner party, Christmas  Eve dinner with extended family, and a three family Christmas dinner fete.  Home was a good place to be.  For one, hostessing kept me busy taking care of others.  The other key to celebrating at home is that it allows me to envision and carry out a plan without many curve balls thrown in.

The 3 keys to hosting parties and having great fun while sober this year turned out to be:

1.  Have a plan.  In early sobriety we spend a whole lot of time making plans.  What time will people arrive and leave? What will I drink?  What will others drink? Where can I get away for ten minutes from time to time to read recovery literature and refocus? Who is my support team at the event? Have I clarified their roles with them? Which AA meeting will I attend the day of the event?

2. Have another person handle the alcohol.  Don’t play the part of the suffering hero.  Just have someone else be the bartender.  At the end of the event, have the bartender pack up the bar and toss out the half finished drinks laying around. That person will be glad to help.

3.  Have fun.  Taking the time, making the time, to celebrate with friends is a new concept in my life.  Focusing on others helps me get out of my head which would normally be focused on the alcohol with laser vision, and opens up the world to the people in my life. Turns out my world was so small when drinking and I missed out on the amazingness around me.  Its time to enjoy friendship again.

Coming soon: the backstory of these keys. Because we all know, there’s always a backstory!

New Holiday: Step Day

Our fearless Nano Poblano leader Mark suggested some, um, interesting topics for the peppers.  While some are tough to incorporate into a recovery blog, there is one that we can toy with today: 14. Today is National Make Up a Holiday Day. Make it a good one.

Here’s the plan: take a few, thoughtfully selected, steps from AA and tweak it into a holiday.  Let’s get started!

Step 1: We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.

Holiday: Letting Go Day / Freedom Day

This holiday is built around the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions. Each of us decides on something to let go of and we have water cooler discussions, and Facebook threads and Instagram posts about said plans. Resolutely letting go of things we’re powerless over will give us incredible freedom. For example,

  • I give up on getting that clueless jerk in front of me to turn off his blinker signal.
  • I let go of the embarrassment of singing off key and will still belt out my favorite songs just because I like them.
  • I admit that I’m powerless to get people off their phones when dining together and actually have a conversation.

Just let it go people.  Trust me, it feels good.

Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Holiday: List Day

Once each year, preferably after a big party kind of holiday, we each write an honest list of our shortcomings.  Everyone posts a list (could be the real one, or a fake one that makes you appear to be the next Mother Teresa) on social media and then burns them in a neighborhood bonfire.  The sooner we know our cr*p, the sooner we can clean it up and move on.

Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

Holiday: Hug It Out Day

The day before Thanksgiving, everyone gets in contact with each person they have hurt, lied to, stolen from, messed with during the last year and owns up to their actions. Get it out.  Don’t let it fester. The momentum created with everyone having these conversations will make them that much safer for everyone.  On Thanksgiving everyone gives thanks for new beginnings with friends and family and its all hunky dory.

Thirsty Games Movie Review

Movie Review of Hunger Games 1 and 3:

hunger games Hunger Games – Haymitch

  • always drinking
  • concerned about whether or not alcohol would be available at all times
  • hid alcohol so as never to be without
  • comfortably uncomfortable character in a movie

Hunger Games opening night – Me

  • carefully planned drinking before the show
  • concerned about not having alcohol during the entire movie
  • hid alcohol so as to have a few last sips before going into the movie started
  • uncomfortably comfortable person in my own skin

mocking joyMockingjay part 1 – Haymitch

  • completely sober and aware of everything
  • imposed sobriety due to a lack of provisions in District 13
  • looking fit and trim
  • would likely dive back into drinking at the first opportunity

Mockingjay part 1 – Me

  • completely sober and aware of most everything (except when trying to figure out what my post would be about tonight and deciding whether to go to the gym in the morning or not.  Haymitch. No.)
  • chose sobriety of my own free will
  • looking fit and trim
  • will not drink today

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The Wisdom of Thich Nhat Hahn

Deep wisdom that touches our very soul always seems to come from a sage who lived long ago and far away. For years I thought that the words I heard from Thich Nhat Hahn fit that category. Wrong. This deeply spiritual man, teacher, peace activist, Buddhist monk lives with us now. Two days ago he suffered a brain hemorrhage. It seems only true and right to meditate on his words as he heals, as these words have helped and pushed my own healing.

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”

“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.”

“My actions are my only true belongings.”

 

No Worries (to set free)

NaBloPoMo topworryic offering for today: If you could permanently get rid of one worry, what would it be?

None.  None that I have any teensy weensy bit of control over.

My parents are about to hit 90, living in their own home, and even with their age related health challenges, they are doing darned well. I worry about losing them.  I worry about my ability to care for them as unpredictable situations arise.  But, with a good support system, all will be fine.  These are healthy worries that will keep me focused on what is important.

Becoming complacent in my recovery program is a huge worry.  I’ve seen first hand what happens when others in recovery try to wing it.  Not a pretty sight.  The challenge is to stay true to what works even when feeling just dandy.  Yes, complacency is a sizable fear.  It needs to stay that way.

There are serious worries that I feel powerless to overcome: non-scientists who cannot wrap their non-scientific minds around climate change and write that information out of textbooks so kids cannot grow up to be valid scientists and help us out of the rut we knowingly put ourselves into, men in power who degrade women by day by not allowing women to make choices about their own bodies in their day job and degrade women at night by paying for services rendered, and too big to fail corporations being treated as people and having an unfair advantage in our elections elections. But that’s for another day.

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Check out the Peppers at Nano Poblano for a ridiculously wide variety of blogs you really need to meet.